This is only the beginning...

My first blog update came rather easily only three weeks ago.  Three weeks sounds like a long time, but it seems even longer since I’ve sat down and put my thoughts together.  After returning home from the Race I spent a week being lazy, reading books, watching movies and eating whatever I wanted.  The following two weeks were full of cleaning house and welcoming company, preparing videos and talks for varying audiences, and road-tripping to visit friends, family members and teammates.

Once those three weeks were up, I started my new job as an Interim Student Minister at my home church.  This wasn’t something I was anticipating, but rather a surprise from the Lord that I willingly accepted.  I’ll be serving there until December, with plans for graduate school in the spring. 

Anyway, back to the job.  This obviously is unlike the World Race in that I’ll be working with and talking to most of you who read these blog updates, so it’s close to home I guess you’d say.  I have no intention of mentioning specifics or details about stuff that shouldn’t be out there for the world to see, whether that’s positive or negative, but I have had a few things on my mind for some time now and after last night I knew I had to pick up the pen (or the keyboard!) again.

Starting any new job can be a bit nerve-wracking.  There are things to get used to and lessons to learn.  I have an office that needs to be organized and decorated and there is a massive shelving unit that takes up an entire wall.  Events need to be planned and Bible studies developed, parents have to be informed and teenagers need a few reminders every once in a while to keep them up to date.

I came into my new position with an air of excitement and prayers of expectation.  I am joyful for what the Lord will do in me and through me in this season.  But, to be honest, there were still a few kinks that accompanied me to work as well.  My diet was a bit slow in adjusting and my exercise routine was suffering (or altogether nonexistent).  I had just finished up the Bible at final debrief and didn’t have a plan of where to dive in next and there were several nights where I couldn’t sleep well.  I’m not a lover of boring schedules and strict routines, but sometimes it’s nice to have a little consistency.

At the office I was so thankful for my wonderful coworkers who graciously helped me and answered all my initial questions…even down to how to answer the phone and work the line with the blinky red light.  I know that my parents are fully supportive of me and there have been some church members to offer a word of encouragement, but satan still tries to creep in and spread discouragement.  (I’ve taken to leaving “satan” in lowercase because I read an author that did that just to undermine him and insult him…I kinda liked that idea!).

satan loves to use the smallest things to bring me down.  It can be anything.  I looked at the monstrous shelving unit across from my desk and felt inadequate.  There’s no way I have enough brilliant theological commentaries to fill that thing up.  Then I see the blank walls of the office staring back at me…I’m a terrible decorator and this place is plain.  What kind of teenager will feel comfortable hanging out in here?  I had a few phone calls or emails asking about details for upcoming events that I was not aware of…You don’t even know what’s going on.  How are they going to trust you with their student?  You get the picture…satan plants small discouraging ideas about anything that you dwell on or worry about, whether it’s significant or not.  Thankfully, I know that one of my spiritual gifts is discernment and I was able to see these discouragements coming and give satan the smack down upfront.  He still comes at me, but it’s much easier when you see your opponent approaching from afar.

For the bookshelf problem, I’ve brought in some of my favorites from home as well as old textbooks from school that may be useful.  With all those awkward gaps I now have room for loads of picture frames with dear friends that I can see each day and remember to pray for.  (The Lord also reminded me that it’s not only books that will teach my students, more importantly it’s my example of Christ).  As far as the empty walls, the Lord gave me a good bit of time with some of my older youth to fellowship while shopping.  We found a clock, calendar, fun picture and I’ve even got a good friend working on a canvas for me.  I gave myself grace in not knowing all the details in the information department.  I’ve been gone for a year and will be intentional about learning what I need to know now.

So that about wraps up three weeks, which brings us to youth summer camp!  I’m down by the Broad River enjoying its scenery as three of my girls laugh hysterically and float on by on inner tubes.  We’re at Gardner-Webb, my alma mater.  Though I’ve only been gone since May of 2011, some things have changed.  There are new buildings, additions, carpeting and trendy water fountains.  Conveniently we are staying in my old dorm and it brings back sweet memories.  This has brought a breath of fresh air as I unexpectedly run into a friend on the quad or in the gym.  I saw two of the older cafeteria ladies outside in the parking lot and they recognized me.  I know they don’t know my name, but their eyes lit up and they asked me about my mission adventures and how I’ve been.  It was an amazing blessing from the Lord, to feel the love from other believers in Christ.

The campus and community have been great, but my students have been even better.  We have a small group at camp this year, only 9 girls and myself.  The group is solid and I love ‘em all, but I still had hoped for a few more.  The Lord has reassured me several times that those who are here are serious and ready for more of Him.  I now count it as a blessing to be able to go deeper with a few, rather than surface level with many. 

Again, the Lord blew me away with His faithfulness and love.  There was a miscommunication and we ran out of space for all of us in the same dorm.  Myself and an older girl decided to split up and drag a mattress in with some others from our group.  I ended up on the floor (it makes me happy and I kind of reminisce to the Race) in a room with my youngest two students.  I don’t really know much about either of them, but after two nights and two days I can tell you that they’re hilariously awesome.  What a blessing!

Anyone knows that roommates and fun activities make summer camp sweet, but I love Crossroads Camp because of their direct intentionality with students.  There is no wasted time as the gospel is preached immediately, enthusiastically and with great clarity.  The night sessions are not just fluffy, feel-good kids’ stories, they are biblically based, true messages spoken to the hearts of young people (and completely relevant to chaperones as well)!  Last night we dove in deep and the worship was phenomenal.  After a dry spell and some tough transitions back to America, this worship time with the glorious God of the universe was what my soul needed.  It was completely satisfying and refreshing.  There was a freedom in that place like I haven’t felt in a long time and it was beautiful to be a part of.

We sat on the second row of floor seats, so the altar was very close.  I was blessed to be able to witness my older girls, my leaders in the group, grab each other and go to pray.  Afterward there was a specific time set aside for our group to discuss, share stories and pray together.  There’s no real structure, so I just lead as the Spirit leads me.  Let me tell you…last night he was leading in such a strong and exciting way!

I went back to the room to grab my computer for music and take a minute to pray for guidance and the ability to lead like He intended me to.  I wanted a bit of a plan, but not too much so that I hindered the Spirit’s plan.  When I entered the room where my girls were already gathered, I almost exploded with enthusiasm.  Let me just say, it was a night to remember.  I can’t recount everything that happened, but basically it was an unloading of the Lord’s goodness as His presence rested with us and in us.

I told satan to get out as he had no place to discourage, disgrace or hold back anything that the Lord was bringing into existence.  We sang praise songs at the top of our lungs, I shared a few thoughts, then opened up the floor…No prompts, no questions, no instructions…the Lord has done a work tonight.  I know it, I’ve seen it, I feel it.  Speak it out, be bold in Jesus and let’s talk about what He’s doing!  One by one the words came, the laughter, the tears, the open honesty of the heart.  It was beautiful.  Where one did not have words, other girls gave her words of encouragement as they spoke truth about her identity in Christ and what her friendship was worth to them.  A younger girl spoke up to express gratitude to another young lady for taking time to hang out with her.  She let her know that she’s looked up to her for a while now.  Others expressed their desire for unhindered worship to be unafraid and unashamed to lift their voices and their hands in praise in any setting.  Some shared about their prideful struggle of not wanting to approach the altar for fear of judgment from others in the crowd; but they also persevered through the trial and found obedience to be their joy in bowing their knees.

What a night!  These are the moments I long to hold onto.  Not in a way where we always go back to reminisce about that one great night at youth camp, but moments that I treasure as I expect them to be flooded with other great times of deep discussion and intentional discipleship.  The best is yet to come, this is only the beginning.