Homemade Pop-tarts: Remembering that people are worth our time

Looking at my blog entries on this site is like looking through old journals...sometimes they're few and far between.  At the end of this week I'll have been at my job (Interim Student Minister) for 3 months and the four month mark is coming up from when I came back to America.  A lot has happened over these few months and I didn't really know what to write or when to write it.  Here's a small update about what's been going on, what I've felt and wrestled with along the way and what's to come...

I guess you could say that things are getting "back to normal" now.  Good food, a nice bed and warm shower are taken for granted again.  I have my own car and cell phone, which proves much more convenient than traveling on the Race.  In a spontaneous decision I got my hair chopped off to donate...over 10 inches...and now I put on makeup and fix my hair everyday.  So, you could say that I'm starting to "settle" again in Statesville.

But some days are still unsettled.  There are those times when my mind goes back to sweet Vincent in Kenya and his hilarious dance moves or I find myself wondering about my friends in the bars of Thailand.  I still meet people that think following Jesus around the globe was an insane idea, the experience of a lifetime to be sure...but now it's time for me to calm down and get a real job.  Some days I have such joy because of an encounter with the Lord, other days I find myself literally laying on the floor and asking, "What am I doing with my life?"

With the job that I have there are certainly ups and downs.  Some days are more joyful, others are discouraging.  The world wide web is not the place for those details or emotions, but I will share some wonderful God-sized things that have been going on lately...

I've made it a priority to attend Christian club meetings at the local middle and high schools as well as make it to the cafeteria to eat lunch with some students.  There have been some good connections made as students that I've never met before are starting to have conversations with me.  I was able to speak about my World Race journey at the high school down the street where I graduated in 2007.  Some of the same teachers are still there and there is even an opportunity for me to help with the basketball team this fall.  I am continually amazed at how the Lord opens door after door for new relationships so that I can begin to have conversations about Him.  He did the same thing in Thailand, why wouldn't he do it here?

Another big part of what I've been up to is attending athletic events.  There are lot of students from my church that play football, soccer, volleyball, run cross-country, you name it.  They're all over the county in their athletic endeavors.  I love going to these events in order to support the youth, but it's been a huge blessing to get to know their parents more as we talk in the stands.  Monday I was at a soccer game...those of you who know me know that I don't really care much about the sport and that I'm partial to volleyball...but I went to watch one of my students.  The team did a great job and won the game.  The Lord gave me a good experience in the stands as the other spectators were a lot of fun to talk and joke around with.  I also caught a bit of the varsity match and they dominated the field.  Soccer is more fun than I thought!

Really, the best part about this job has been getting to know the youth.  I know they're awesome, but sometimes they still surprise me.  This morning, after See You at the Pole, one student walked up and handed me something wrapped in a paper towel.  I smiled questioningly and asked what I'd just received.  It was a "homemade pop-tart".  We had spent some time in the cafeteria the previous week talking about classes, homework, sports, movies and pop-tarts.  (Personally, I strongly believe that you should toast your pop-tarts.  They are "toaster pastries" and they "pop" out of the toaster.  Just sayin'...)  This student said that his mom made amazing homemade pop-tarts and I joked about stopping by one morning for breakfast.  The surprise (and wonderfully tasty) breakfast pastry totally made my day.  To see generosity and simple kindness like that from a sixth grader blew me away.  I can't believe that he remembered.

Maybe I was so impressed because I haven't seen that type of kindness much lately.  On the Race it was humbling to be the honored guests everywhere we went and to be the recipient of so much generosity and hospitality.  I was thinking the other day about one of our pastors from the Race and how wonderful it would be if he could come spend time with my family.  Would we be as hospitable as he was?  Would people come to honor him and hear him speak if he was given the opportunity?  Or would they choose to stay at home watching ESPN and arguing about the replacement refs in the NFL?  Why aren't people a priority anymore?

I guess what I'm getting at is this: I wish Americans would be as relational as the rest of the world.  All it takes is a kind word, a simple note or a wave and a smile to brighten someone's day.  Yea, we're willing to briefly speak to someone in the hallway when we see them, but intentionally tracking someone down to have an in-depth conversation and truly see how they're doing is asking too much.

What if we really got involved in the lives of others, not for the purpose of gossip on Facebook, but as a friend, mentor, prayer warrior for them and their faith?  What if we truly took time to grow in the Word so that we could disciple others and set an example for them?  What if when we took "prayer requests" or asked "how's it goin?" we listened to the responses and kept a check on others' progress?

This is a bit of a random entry, mostly because my life feels a little random right about now.  Some days  I forget what I'm doing or where I'm going, but I'm thankful to know Who is with me all the time.  If I can just remember to focus on Him and constantly point others toward Him, I think I'll be alright.

Closing it up with one of my favorite passages on how to live practically and love others:

Love must be sincere.  Hate what is evil: cling to what is good.  Be devoted to one another in brotherly love.  Honor one another above yourselves.  Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.  Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.  Share with God's people who are in need.  Practice hospitality.

Romans 12:9-13

On a side note: I finally mailed in my application for graduate school today.  It had been pushed to the back burner with all the other activities to be planned and carried out.  Now it's a reality.  In three months I could be moving to a new place, with new people, new responsibilities and new weather (cold!).

Fearing God in Montana's Mountains

My family recently went on vacation to Glacier National Park in Montana... 

David, Doug, Dad, Hannah, Caleb, Mom

We've been home for a week, but I just found a chance to write and I'm taking it!  This was a bit of a different family vacation for the Dagenhart clan.  We usually end up at the beach or local NC mountains.  There've been a few variations through the years...we tried Disney World once (Dad vowed never to go back again) and we navigated our way through Washington DC (some of the oldest members of the family had difficulty with the metro routes).  When I heard that we were going to a national park in the northwest to hike all day long I was a bit curious as to how that would turn out.  I also wished I'd kept up my workouts from the World Race days.

Anyhow, after a quick flight to Atlanta and one to Kalispell, MT, we were renting a car and driving the remaining hours to the park.  For the past year of my life I have traveled many, many miles in many different ways.  My squad flew from continent to continent, crossing several countries and oceans as we went.  I always loved the days when we were able to take a plane instead of spending hours on a train or bus; flying was a luxury.  Last week when I found myself on the 5 hour flight from Atlanta to Montana I was surprised to realize my new nervousness at being in the air.  I couldn't really focus on my book or the Olympics on my mini TV.  I kept glancing out the window at the clouds below and the mountains even farther below.  There was a sense of panic as my mind thought of all the ways the plane could go down, followed by huge frustrations at my childish fears.  What is wrong with me?  I'm a world traveler!  This is ridiculous.

I sat tight and finished the flight in silence.  It felt nice to be on the ground.  Shaking off the weirdness of my new phobia, I got in the car as we headed for a grocery store (the closest one for many miles!) and then on to our cabin.  It was one of those nice places out in the middle of nowhere with a sweet view of trees, countryside and wildlife.  The TV didn't work (kind of a bummer to miss the olympics), there was no internet access and barely any cell reception.  It was nice not to have the pressure or temptation of technology.

My cell phone did serve one important purpose...the alarm clock.  Each day we got a fairly early start out to the park and onto the mountain trails.  We all had our hiking boots, backpacks, bear spray (there were Grizzlies and Black bears roaming!), along with our water bottles and trail mix.  Most of the trails were nice and moderate in difficulty.  Toward the middle of the week we enjoyed a few hours on the river as we floated down in a raft.  Class II and III rapids look much less intimidating after the Nile, but the water was refreshingly cold.

Goofing off while waiting to get started.

After rafting (a break from walking so much) I promised my brother David I'd hike on whatever trail he wanted.  He's the adventurer, the planner of the family.  He'd been to Glacier before and knew the best things to see and do.  The next day we were preparing for a 10.3 mile hike.  We drove to the end, parked and rode a shuttle to the starting point.  What started out as a nice, shady hike moved out into the open with lots of wild flowers and a great view of the surrounding mountains.  As we kept going, David pointed out the mountain ahead.  "We're going over that one." 

My reaction (internally of course):  It looks a little steep but if everyone else can do it, I certainly can.  

We kept hiking and reached the incline.  There were lots of switchbacks as the trail was fairly steep and it was a bit intimidating to see loose rocks along the sides of the trail.  Towards the top I quit looking out as it was safer to just stare at the ground.  It was getting to be lunch time and the plan was that we'd stop at the top to eat.  There was sure to be a good view of the scenery stretching out below as far as the eye could see.  After hours of hiking, we finally made it to the top.  Mom and I pulled up the rear as I stopped to take a few pictures here and there.

When the trail bent to the right at a place where two mountains came together, I suddenly turned into a not-so-happy-camper (or hiker rather).  David, Doug, Caleb and Dad were all sitting leisurely on the trail a few yards off starting to dig into their packs for lunch.  I stopped and sat where I was.  Let me just tell you where I was...in the minds of my family members we were in a beautiful place with an outstanding view of God's great creation....in my mind we were on the side of an ominous mountain looking down into the face of death.  You see, the path was maybe five to six feet wide with a tall mountaintop to the right and a drop to sudden death on the left.  There were points on the hike that I thought I'd probably just end up paralyzed if I slipped, there was no such hope with this spot.

The snow is much farther below the ledge that juts out 
in the bottom of the picture...What a view!!!

After a few minutes I traveled down a bit farther to wider and safer ground!

Needless to say, for me, this was not the best place to eat lunch.  I had a mini panic attack, somewhat because of the height and danger but mostly because of my frustration at being afraid.  After calming down and moving forward it got a little better, until we reached the ice.  There was a big patch of ice covering the trail where we had to cross and hope not to slide down and off another cliff.  I got a little more agitated here.  I usually joke around all the time anyway, even when I'm nervous, so I had to actually admit that I didn't enjoy the hike at some moments.  There may have been a few death threats hurled at our guide (David), but luckily I didn't have to carry them
out.

After reaching the safety and comfort of the car there came a sense of relief coupled with accomplishment.  Reflecting back to the different points in the hike, I was able to catch a few revelations about the Lord.

When I was sitting on the ledge at the top of the mountain I was afraid of falling, of meeting my untimely end there.  The size of the peak and the vast distance between myself and the ground below was overwhelming and uncomfortable.  As I kept walking and exploring I realized that the mountain was indeed great and worthy of caution on my part.  It wasn't a vicious rock seeking to throw me to my death, it didn't try to shake me off or laugh maliciously as I almost tripped and lost my footing on the path; yet, the danger was there if I didn't choose to respect where I was.

Gaining a little confidence and posing for a picture.

I finally got a bit of insight into what it means to "fear the Lord".  Isn't he my Savior, Redeemer, Friend and Father?  What does it mean to fear the Lord?  The Lord God is magnificent and mighty.  He is immensely beautiful and wonderful to behold.  He is great and significant, where we are small and insignificant.  He cannot ever fail, fall, lose, or be defeated.  He is to be feared...and worshipped in reverence.

On the mountainside in Montana I saw the greatness of the Lord and the extreme insignificance of little human Hannah.  While He is to be respected and honored (like the trail at the mountain), he does not wish to harm us.  We are meant to marvel at his majesty, not melt in fear.  If I let my fear (awareness) reach hysteria, I could have stopped all together and stayed paralyzed in that spot.  It is unrealistic to fear God as One who would wait for us to fail and then punish us severely.  He is not ruthless, he is rich in love.  My fear was a reverence for the mountain, a realization of it's great power and presence.  As long as I followed the path as I should, I was open to enjoy the view.  God is much the same way.  We should revere Him and acknowledge His power and presence.  When our relationship with Him is obedient and healthy, there's nothing to fear.  When we see Him for Who He is we'll be in awe and express thankfulness for being able to experience the wonder of His majesty.

In his hand are the depths of the earth, and the mountain peaks belong to him.  - Psalm 95:4

Before the mountains were born or you brought forth the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting You are God. 

- Psalm 90:2

This is only the beginning...

My first blog update came rather easily only three weeks ago.  Three weeks sounds like a long time, but it seems even longer since I’ve sat down and put my thoughts together.  After returning home from the Race I spent a week being lazy, reading books, watching movies and eating whatever I wanted.  The following two weeks were full of cleaning house and welcoming company, preparing videos and talks for varying audiences, and road-tripping to visit friends, family members and teammates.

Once those three weeks were up, I started my new job as an Interim Student Minister at my home church.  This wasn’t something I was anticipating, but rather a surprise from the Lord that I willingly accepted.  I’ll be serving there until December, with plans for graduate school in the spring. 

Anyway, back to the job.  This obviously is unlike the World Race in that I’ll be working with and talking to most of you who read these blog updates, so it’s close to home I guess you’d say.  I have no intention of mentioning specifics or details about stuff that shouldn’t be out there for the world to see, whether that’s positive or negative, but I have had a few things on my mind for some time now and after last night I knew I had to pick up the pen (or the keyboard!) again.

Starting any new job can be a bit nerve-wracking.  There are things to get used to and lessons to learn.  I have an office that needs to be organized and decorated and there is a massive shelving unit that takes up an entire wall.  Events need to be planned and Bible studies developed, parents have to be informed and teenagers need a few reminders every once in a while to keep them up to date.

I came into my new position with an air of excitement and prayers of expectation.  I am joyful for what the Lord will do in me and through me in this season.  But, to be honest, there were still a few kinks that accompanied me to work as well.  My diet was a bit slow in adjusting and my exercise routine was suffering (or altogether nonexistent).  I had just finished up the Bible at final debrief and didn’t have a plan of where to dive in next and there were several nights where I couldn’t sleep well.  I’m not a lover of boring schedules and strict routines, but sometimes it’s nice to have a little consistency.

At the office I was so thankful for my wonderful coworkers who graciously helped me and answered all my initial questions…even down to how to answer the phone and work the line with the blinky red light.  I know that my parents are fully supportive of me and there have been some church members to offer a word of encouragement, but satan still tries to creep in and spread discouragement.  (I’ve taken to leaving “satan” in lowercase because I read an author that did that just to undermine him and insult him…I kinda liked that idea!).

satan loves to use the smallest things to bring me down.  It can be anything.  I looked at the monstrous shelving unit across from my desk and felt inadequate.  There’s no way I have enough brilliant theological commentaries to fill that thing up.  Then I see the blank walls of the office staring back at me…I’m a terrible decorator and this place is plain.  What kind of teenager will feel comfortable hanging out in here?  I had a few phone calls or emails asking about details for upcoming events that I was not aware of…You don’t even know what’s going on.  How are they going to trust you with their student?  You get the picture…satan plants small discouraging ideas about anything that you dwell on or worry about, whether it’s significant or not.  Thankfully, I know that one of my spiritual gifts is discernment and I was able to see these discouragements coming and give satan the smack down upfront.  He still comes at me, but it’s much easier when you see your opponent approaching from afar.

For the bookshelf problem, I’ve brought in some of my favorites from home as well as old textbooks from school that may be useful.  With all those awkward gaps I now have room for loads of picture frames with dear friends that I can see each day and remember to pray for.  (The Lord also reminded me that it’s not only books that will teach my students, more importantly it’s my example of Christ).  As far as the empty walls, the Lord gave me a good bit of time with some of my older youth to fellowship while shopping.  We found a clock, calendar, fun picture and I’ve even got a good friend working on a canvas for me.  I gave myself grace in not knowing all the details in the information department.  I’ve been gone for a year and will be intentional about learning what I need to know now.

So that about wraps up three weeks, which brings us to youth summer camp!  I’m down by the Broad River enjoying its scenery as three of my girls laugh hysterically and float on by on inner tubes.  We’re at Gardner-Webb, my alma mater.  Though I’ve only been gone since May of 2011, some things have changed.  There are new buildings, additions, carpeting and trendy water fountains.  Conveniently we are staying in my old dorm and it brings back sweet memories.  This has brought a breath of fresh air as I unexpectedly run into a friend on the quad or in the gym.  I saw two of the older cafeteria ladies outside in the parking lot and they recognized me.  I know they don’t know my name, but their eyes lit up and they asked me about my mission adventures and how I’ve been.  It was an amazing blessing from the Lord, to feel the love from other believers in Christ.

The campus and community have been great, but my students have been even better.  We have a small group at camp this year, only 9 girls and myself.  The group is solid and I love ‘em all, but I still had hoped for a few more.  The Lord has reassured me several times that those who are here are serious and ready for more of Him.  I now count it as a blessing to be able to go deeper with a few, rather than surface level with many. 

Again, the Lord blew me away with His faithfulness and love.  There was a miscommunication and we ran out of space for all of us in the same dorm.  Myself and an older girl decided to split up and drag a mattress in with some others from our group.  I ended up on the floor (it makes me happy and I kind of reminisce to the Race) in a room with my youngest two students.  I don’t really know much about either of them, but after two nights and two days I can tell you that they’re hilariously awesome.  What a blessing!

Anyone knows that roommates and fun activities make summer camp sweet, but I love Crossroads Camp because of their direct intentionality with students.  There is no wasted time as the gospel is preached immediately, enthusiastically and with great clarity.  The night sessions are not just fluffy, feel-good kids’ stories, they are biblically based, true messages spoken to the hearts of young people (and completely relevant to chaperones as well)!  Last night we dove in deep and the worship was phenomenal.  After a dry spell and some tough transitions back to America, this worship time with the glorious God of the universe was what my soul needed.  It was completely satisfying and refreshing.  There was a freedom in that place like I haven’t felt in a long time and it was beautiful to be a part of.

We sat on the second row of floor seats, so the altar was very close.  I was blessed to be able to witness my older girls, my leaders in the group, grab each other and go to pray.  Afterward there was a specific time set aside for our group to discuss, share stories and pray together.  There’s no real structure, so I just lead as the Spirit leads me.  Let me tell you…last night he was leading in such a strong and exciting way!

I went back to the room to grab my computer for music and take a minute to pray for guidance and the ability to lead like He intended me to.  I wanted a bit of a plan, but not too much so that I hindered the Spirit’s plan.  When I entered the room where my girls were already gathered, I almost exploded with enthusiasm.  Let me just say, it was a night to remember.  I can’t recount everything that happened, but basically it was an unloading of the Lord’s goodness as His presence rested with us and in us.

I told satan to get out as he had no place to discourage, disgrace or hold back anything that the Lord was bringing into existence.  We sang praise songs at the top of our lungs, I shared a few thoughts, then opened up the floor…No prompts, no questions, no instructions…the Lord has done a work tonight.  I know it, I’ve seen it, I feel it.  Speak it out, be bold in Jesus and let’s talk about what He’s doing!  One by one the words came, the laughter, the tears, the open honesty of the heart.  It was beautiful.  Where one did not have words, other girls gave her words of encouragement as they spoke truth about her identity in Christ and what her friendship was worth to them.  A younger girl spoke up to express gratitude to another young lady for taking time to hang out with her.  She let her know that she’s looked up to her for a while now.  Others expressed their desire for unhindered worship to be unafraid and unashamed to lift their voices and their hands in praise in any setting.  Some shared about their prideful struggle of not wanting to approach the altar for fear of judgment from others in the crowd; but they also persevered through the trial and found obedience to be their joy in bowing their knees.

What a night!  These are the moments I long to hold onto.  Not in a way where we always go back to reminisce about that one great night at youth camp, but moments that I treasure as I expect them to be flooded with other great times of deep discussion and intentional discipleship.  The best is yet to come, this is only the beginning.

Jesus, you are my reward.

If you're new to the site, you may want to check out my previous blog about my World Race mission trip at hannahdagenhart.theworldrace.org.


The World Race: 11 countries in 11 months.  Now that's something I can blog about.  Traveling on rickety European trains, riding elephants in Thailand, eating fried squid in Malaysia.  The year was full of excitement.  It went by in the blink of an eye and I can't believe I'm already settled in again at home. How can I begin to wrap up what went on?  In what ways can I show you, tell you, how God changed my life?  When will I ever figure out what "normal" looks like again?

Within my first few weeks back from the World Race I've had some chances to speak about my experiences.  I'm sure I'll be processing the events of the past year for many years to come, but some thoughts have already grabbed my attention.  Most recently I had an older woman say to me, with a smile on her face: "We're so glad you're home now.  You don't ever have to go back there again do you?"  I gave her a smile and a clever joke as an answer, not really wanting to show how I was feeling on the inside.

I know that people mean well, but they may not understand how their words that were meant to encourage can sometimes come off as shallow or selfish.  In no way do I think this lady was insincere; she was a sweet person just trying to make conversation.  The thing that got me was the implied meaning in her statement.  "You don't ever have to go back there again do you?"  Where did she think I came from?  A deep dark prison cell in the middle of a desert?  How terrible it must be to eat strange things, be dirty all the time and sleep on cold, hard surfaces.  Those are temporary physical circumstances.  Didn't she wonder about the powerful prayer times and the intimate worship sessions with believers in other nations?  What about the spiritual gains of such a trip?  I can't say that I was offended, just disappointed really.  I wanted to tell her, I'm praying that I'll be given an opportunity to go back because those rough, dirty conditions are the very places where I felt Jesus the most!  It was a reward, not a punishment!


Since this is my first post I'll go ahead and add this in...if you don't know me, one of my favorite verses is Psalm 37:4, "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart."  When I truly delight in Christ I don't desire a warm comfortable bed or my favorite home-cooked dish.  I could care less about a TV series or air-conditioned room.  When I truly delight myself in the Lord, my desire is for more of Him.  It's a sweet cycle...delight in Him, desire Him and find more delight, then more desire, etc.

Before I even left the country a few people told me something to this effect: "We're so glad you're going.  We'll even be glad to support you financially.  Basically, since you're going we won't have to."  Seriously?  We get so wrapped up in our physical circumstances, too attached to things or people.  The result of this is that we completely miss out on God's blessings.  I did not choose to do international mission work to make myself feel better or to look good in front of other Christians.  I went because God led and I took joy in following.

It was a struggle to decide whether to put this blog out there because I thought it might offend someone.  I can assure you that was in no way my intention in writing.  There's just a passion busting out of me that wants to scream: JESUS IS ENOUGH!  Why can't we understand that?  Following Christ is not for the faint of heart.  He demands a lot.  As a matter of fact, he demands everything.  


What is it that's holding us back?  (Notice I did say "us").  What is so important that you and I are clinging to it desperately instead of giving it over freely to Christ?  When will we understand that Jesus is all we need - no matter the circumstances - and that glorifying Him is our sole purpose and joy?


Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.

- Psalm 90:14